“Oh no… I’m not ever hiring THAT speaker…  

… They were so rude in their email.  They just asked me how much money we had and told us they would never speak for such a low fee.”


A client actually said this to me recently.  I had just referred another speaker for an event when they told me about this very negative experience.

I know the speaker I referred would never intentionally write a rude email.  

But that’s how her email message was received. 

And this happens all the time!  All because speakers like to ‘prequalify’ their prospects.

Sure, most speakers would rather know in advance whether or not an event organizer has the budget to back up an inquiry.

You know…

… before you take the time to research their organization, plan a client theme call, and write up a custom session description.

It’s hard work!

But sometimes, your efforts to “pre-qualify” prospective clients completely backfires. Rather than saving time and increasing your close rate, it actually ruins relationships and weakens your referral network. 

Bridges Are Burning Left and Right!

I’ve seen many examples of this over the years…

  • Speakers will respond to a very kind inquiry with a note like this: “Hey, my fee is $10k.  So, if that works, let’s set up a time to chat.”  (This infers that if it doesn’t work, let’s not waste everyone’s time.)
  • Speakers say, “Hey, I’d love to learn more.  Can you give me a sense of what your speaker budget is?” (Obviously, money is the only thing that truly matters, right?)
  • Then, there’s the free gig problem.  Speakers will quickly say, “Oh, I don’t do free gigs.” (Period. End of conversation.  End of relationship.)

You have to remember that most people read an email with a very different internal voice than what you thought when you wrote it.  The same thing goes for text messages.

Your simple response to a question like this… 

No, I can’t do it. 🙂🌷🌈

Is received like this…

NO! How dare you! 😠⛈️💀

Written messages often come across much more curt and terse than you had intended.  And sometimes, these quick responses to event organizers don’t help you accomplish the main thing you should do as a speaker… build positive relationships!

After all, you’re not in the “speaking business.” You’re in the “relationship business.”

Remember that.

So today, I want to encourage you to rethink your initial responses to event organizers when they inquire about a gig.  

Here are three reasons why this little ::think:: session is so important.

Reputation Matters 

Your reputation matters.

And your referrer’s reputation matters.

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